All I Want
by R5ausslyfinchelmusic
Summary: Austin's moved on and Ally is left in pieces. AUSLLY. STRONG T! Based on the song All I Want by Kodaline.
1. Pain

**Hey guys! This is a story based on the song 'All I Want' by Kodaline. This is REALLY sad and depressing! It's NOT a happy story! The next chapter will be in Austin's P.O.V!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or anything else you may recognize **

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~All I want is nothing more~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

**_~~~~~~~~~~To hear you knocking at my door~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

I would do anything to hear Austin knock on my door one more time. I haven't seen Austin since _their _wedding. I don't care if he loves _her _now, I just want to hug him again. I know it would hurt seeing him with someone else, but I need closure.

_**~~~~~~~~~~Cause if I could see your face once more~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~I could die a happy man I'm sure~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

If I could see his face one more time, then maybe I'd reconsider what I'm about to do. Yes, I Ally Dawson am thinking about ending my life. It just seems like no one cares about me anymore and I can't deal with this any longer. Now that Austin found his true love, I have no porpoise in life.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~When you said your last goodbye~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I died a little bit inside~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

When Austin said goodbye to our relationship, I died inside. At first I thought that maybe, just maybe, he would come back to me, but I was just getting my hopes up.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_"I don't think this is going to work out, Ally..." Austin whispered as I stared at him stunned._

_"Why? I thought we were doing fine!" I asked desperately trying to get him to look me in the eye, but he refused._

_"I'm sorry, Ally! I just can't..." I stared at him as the anger boiled in my stomach._

_"You can't what, Austin?!" I asked harshly_

_"Ally, there's someone else." That jerk! Tears flowed out of my eyes. Austin tried to hug me, but I wouldn't let him. I wasn't EVER going to let that liar touch me again. I took a shaky breath._

_"Don't ever put your fucking hands on me again. You're a liar, a cheater, a jerk and I never want you near me! You said you loved me, what a fucking lie! I can't believe I ever loved you!" I screamed at Austin as he tried to calm me down._

_"I-I wasn't lying, I do love you." Austin choked_

_"You have a funny way of showing it!" I scoffed_

_"Ally, just please let me hug you. Please? I'm begging..." He pleaded and I gave in. I let him wrap his arms around me and hold me close._

_"This is the end isn't it?" I sighed_

_"Yeah, I guess it is." And that's when it happened, Austin broke down crying into my shoulder._

_"Hey, it's going to be okay. We can still be friends and partners." I comforted_

_"Best Friends?"_

_"Sure, best friends." Then, we sat there in silence._

_"I know I'm pushing my limits, but can I get a goodbye kiss?" I nodded hesitantly as he swooped in for our last kiss, the last of Austin &amp; Ally._

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

If only I could go back to those times. I should start making my goodbye letters and video.

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I lay in tears in bed all night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

**_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Alone without you by my side~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_**

After we broke up I stayed in my bed crying. I wouldn't talk to anybody, not even Trish. I could tell she was worried about me since Austin told her what had happened.

Although, we had just broken up I really missed Austin being by my side at night, he always made me feel safe and protected.

I finished writing my goodbye letter to Trish.

_**~~~~~~~~~~But if you loved me, why'd you leave me~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~Take my body, take my body~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

The part that confuses me the most is, if Austin loved me, then why did he leave me? I mean, I would've still dated Austin even though he cheated on me.

I can't believe I'm actually going to commit suicide. I can only imagine how fast Austin will run to Sonic Boom in hopes that he'll be able to save me, but he will soon realize it's to late.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~All I want is, And all I need is~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~To find somebody, I'll find somebody~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

I tried moving on, but I just can't. You only have one shot at love and I blew it. I totally and utterly blew it! All I need is for him to love me back, but he can't, because he's married to Piper.

I finished writing my goodbye letter to Dez.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~See you brought out the best in me~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~A part of me I've never seen~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

He always brought out the best in me, whether it was with music or work, he just made me so happy. No one had ever brought out that side of me before, it was an amazing feeling. Now though, I don't have anyone to bring out that side of me anymore.

I finished my Dad's goodbye letter.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~You took my soul and wiped it clean~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~Our love was made for movie screens~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

Before I met Austin, I was a wreck. I was depressed, strict, and lonely, but then Austin came into my life and it felt like my soul had been wiped clean. To be honest, with all the drama we went through, I'm surprised we don't have a reality TV show yet.

I made a goodbye letter for Piper, just so she knows that I never hated her even though she hates me.

_**~~~~~~~~~~~But if you loved me, Why'd you leave me~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Take my body, Take my body~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**_

Now, I have to write Austin's goodbye letter. I can't believe that I'm actually doing this, that it's for real this time.

_Dear Austin,_

_This is goodbye. I've decided I need to leave the world. If I know you, you're probably already on your way to Sonic Boom, but it's to late. I want you to know that I love you, I love you so much that it hurts. Please don't do anything stupid like I am. I need you to stay here and live your life with Piper. I know you can live without me, find a new songwriter. I know I've said it before, but I seriously love you. I love you more than pickles, school, and even my book. Speaking of, I want you to bread my book, bout ONLY YOU. Please don't blame yourself, this is not your fault. I love you._

_Love,_

_Ally_

I stare at myself in the mirror in the Practice Room.

"It's okay Ally, it's all going to be over soon." I said to myself. I unscrewed the cap to the pill bottle but, someone came running into the room. Austin. Before Austin could say anything I blacked out. That last thing that I heard was Austin shrieking my name.


	2. Should've been me

**Sorry about the short chapter! Okay, so since everybody wanted another chapter, I'm thinking about making this into a multi-chapter story! What do you guys think?**

Austin's P.O.V:

I raced up the stairs of Sonic Boom and burst into the Practice Room, when I entered I saw a sight I NEVER wanted to see again. Ally was there, holding an empty pill bottle, and she had tears streaking down her face.

"ALLY!" I shrieked as she fell to the floor. I raced over to her and scooped her up into my arms. Her pulse was there, but it was extremely faint. I need to call an ambulance...

"Oh crap! Shit! Where the hell is my phone?!" I panicked realizing I had left my phone in the car. Suddenly, someone entered the room.

"Guess who got a job-" Trish stopped mid sentence when she saw Ally's body and my current state of panic.

"Austin! What the fuck happened to Ally?!" Trish screamed rushing over to us. When I tried to speak all that came out was a sob. I was too much of an emotional wreck to speak.

"Nevermind, just stay here! I'm going to call an ambulance.." Trish stated as she took out her phone.

"Hello? Yes, my best friend, Ally Dawson. Um, I came in here and I found Ally passed out-" I spaced out after that. I can't believe she would do this to me, I wouldn't be able to live without Ally! She looks so fragile, so... _broken._

"They're on their way, Austin! Everything is going to be fine. Ally's going to wake up, you can get that divorce you wanted with Piper, and then you and Ally can get married and live happily ever after!" Trish rambled. Her sentence made me cry even harder. I knew something bad was going to happen! I knew it!

"Austin, get up. The ambulance is here!" Trish said relived. I let out another sob before getting up and carrying Ally's fragile body outside.

* * *

"Hello Sir, do you know what happened to Miss Dawson?" A ambulance person asked me.

"Sort-of. I walked into our Practice Room upstairs a-and I-I saw her with an empty p-pill bottle. Then she went unconscious and f-fell to t-the f-floor." I sniffled.

"Thank you." As the he began to walk away I ran after him.

"WAIT! Can I please ride in the ambulance with Ally?" I asked desperately.

"I'm sorry, kid. Only family allowed." I sighed feeling another rush of hot tears stream down my face.

"But, he is family. Austin is Ally's boyfriend!" Trish butted in. I nodded my head vigorously.

"Okay, jump in."

* * *

I stared at Ally with all the medical wires attached to her. I wish it was me, why wasn't it me?! She doesn't freaking deserve this! I felt another batch of hot tears well up in my eyes.

"Sweetie, we're almost at the hospital." A nurse called out to me with a sympathetic smile. Then, something terrible happened. The steady beats of Ally's heart had stopped and I froze.

"GUYS! SHE'S NOT BREATHING!" A nurse yelled frantically as she checked Ally's pulse. I started screaming.

"THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! THIS CAN'T BE REAL! ALLY'S GOING TO BE FINE! Right? RIGHT?" The nurses just looked at me with sympathy and my heart dropped to my stomach.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. She's probably not going to make it through the night..."

My world stopped. This can't be real. This ISN'T real. It can't be... Ally's going to be fine! She has to be...

"What do you mean 'She's not going to make it through the night'? Ally has to be fine! She HAS to be fine!" I yelled at no one in particular.

My mind was racing. What if Ally dies? What would I do? I can't live without her, it's physically impossible.


	3. I'm Sorry

I've always hated hospitals.

Granted some good things do happen in here, like, New lives are brought into the world. I can faintly hear the newborn babies crying for their mothers down the hall.

Ally would be a great mother.

I can imagine our child now, it would be a girl and we would name her Allysa. She would obviously be a musical prodigy, and would be smart like Ally, but she would still be as childish as I am. She would have my blonde hair and Ally's beautiful chocolate brown eyes and Ally would yell at me for spoiling her too much.

And we would all live happily ever after...

It started to become too much for me and a few tears slipped out of my eyes. I quickly wiped them away and looked at the person in front of me.

She still hasn't opened her eyes yet and the doctor says that she might never wake up.

But I know she will. She has too...

I reached out and grabbed her frail hand and engulfed it in mine.

"Alls, I know you probably can't hear this but, I need to say this before it's too late. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for stealing your song all those years ago, and for being such a crappy Best Friend! Best Friend, I don't deserve that tittle. I was never there for you, but yet you were always there for me. And I'm just sorry!"

I started sobbing.

"I'm sorry for not realizing what was right in front of me this whole time until this happened. I'm sorry for leavening you for Piper. But most of all I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I guess I deserve this, you know, watching the one that I love just die and not being able to do anything about it! I'm sorry..." I couldn't say anything else because my breathing was getting ragged and I was sobbing uncontrollably.

I shut my eyes tightly, when all of a sudden I felt slight squeeze on my hand and the voice that I longed to hear whisper my name.

_"Austin?"_

I instantly shot my head up to see Ally's eyes staring right into mine. I looked at her for a second before doing something I should've done a long time ago.

I kissed her.

I kissed her with as much love and passion that was in my heart. At first she was shocked but then she immedently started kissing me back. Her hands tangled up in my hair while I had my hand on her cheek. I've never felt as good as I did right then, we were wrapped up in our own little world. She pulled away first gasping for air and I layed my forehead against hers.

"I love you." I whispered loud enough for her to hear. She looked at me for a second, shock written all over her face, before whispering back "I-I love you too."

"Good, now that we've got that cleared up, what the hell were you thinking?" I said gently pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

She bit her lip, "I'm sorry, Austin. I just couldn't keep living like that, knowing that the one I loved didn't love me. I didn't think that anyone would miss me."

I stared at her for a few moments.

"Really? No one would miss you?" She stayed silent and looked down "What about your Dad? What about Dez and Trish? Most importantly, what about me?"

"I know. I just didn't know what to do..."

"Well, trying to kill yourself is _definitely _not the answer. If you died, I would've died too. You wouldn't just be killing yourself, you'd be killing me."

She started to cry "I'm so sorry, Austin. I-I just thought that you were too good for me. I don't deserve you and-" I cut her off.

"You don't deserve me? Ally, if anything I don't deserve you. You deserve way better than me."

"I'm sorry, Austin. It's all my fault that I'm here right now."

"No, it's not. It's my fault for pushing you over the edge. I should've noticed what was right in front of me."

"I love you, Austin." Ally sniffled

"I love you too, Ally."

Then, I kissed her again. I kissed her like this was our last kiss, because in my gut I had a weird feeling that this _was _going to be our last kiss.

I pulled away and hugged her tightly against my chest.

"I love you." I whispered into her hair.

"I love you more." Ally whispered back.

"Ally, it's physically impossible for you to love me more than I love you." I laughed as a few tears fell out of my eyes.

"I still love you more." Then, I jumped into the hospital bed with her and snuggled.

My face was burried in the crook of her neck and her head rested on my chest and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

* * *

I woke up to Ally's sweet voice singing and I decided to pretend to be sleeping so I could listen.

_"I'm fading_

_Much to fast, my love_

_I'm waiting_

_For it to pass, my love_

_Could I feel your skin on mine_

_Before I have to say goodbye?_

_Could I breathe, please, one last time?_

_You're in my lungs before I curl up_

_And, die..._

_All my world is losing light_

_I'm leaving_

_This cold world of mine_

_No pleading_

_Is gonna turn back time_

_Could I feel your skin on mine_

_Before I have to say goodbye?_

_Could I breathe, please, one last time?_

_You're in my lungs before I curl up_

_And, die..._

_All my world is losing_ light."

I finally opened my eyes to see Ally with tears in her eyes just staring at the wall.

"Ally?" I whispered shakily.

She snapped her head to look at me.

"Austin, need to tell you something." I looked at her terrified.

"W-what is it?"

She took a breath "Well, while you were sleeping, the doctor came in." I drew in a sharp breath "And, well, he said that... I-I'm not going to make it."

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

That's _not _true.

"H-he also said, that um, you're welcome to stay the night since I probably won't make it into the morning."

Then, I pulled her as close to me as possible and just cried.

This is all my fault. If I just hadn't pushed her over the edge, none of this would be happening.

* * *

The rest of the night we exchanged 'I love you's' and long kisses. We also talked about our favorite moments together.

"Remember when we first met?" I smiled at the memory.

"Yeah, you were playing the drums with corn dogs and I was writing in my songbook. I knew something amazing was about to happen when I first saw you." I smiled and let out a sob.

"I remember when our hands first touched on the piano and I felt this shock of electricity run through me. It was the best moment of my life." I said fondly.

"I don't want to leave yet, I want to create more memories with you." Ally turned to me and I could see the tears that decorated her face.

"Then let's make some more." I whispered softly into her ear before kissing her roughly.

* * *

We fell asleep a little after that, but I was awakened by someone sobbing my name.

_Ally._

_"Austin!"_ I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing what was about to happen.

She was dying.

I hesitantly opened my eyes and found Allclutching her chest, sobbing.

"Ally?" I whispered shakily.

"Austin, I want you to know that I will always love you, even if I'm not going to be here." She choked out as I pulled her into my lap and held her.

"Ally, I love you, I love you, I love you." God, please let this be a nightmare.

Please.

"Austin, I don't want to die. I want to stay with you. Please save me." I looked into her frightened eyes and I HATED myself.

Why couldn't I save her? God knows I wanted too.

"Ally, would do anything if it meant you could stay here with me. If it meant that we would live happily ever after." I sobbed.

Her breathing was becoming ragged and I knew I didn't have much time left.

"Okay, okay. Um, I love you more than anything and I know we'll be together again. Thank you for making my life worth living, Ally Dawson, you're my world." I choked out, savoring her last few minutes with me.

"I love you. Don't you dare ever forget that, Austin. Thank you for saving me."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"That's impossible." I whispered shakily before kissing her with all the love I held in my heart.

5 minutes later her lips weren't moving with mine and she was limp in my arms.

It finally hit me.

She's actually gone.

I just lost the love of my life.

"No!" I screamed.

"No, I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet!" I yelled waiting for a reply that would never come.

I burried my face into her hair.

It smelled like her.

I started to sing. It's the only way I know how to deal with pain.

_"I thought I saw the devil, this morning_

_Looking in the mirror,_

_Drop of rum on my tongue_

_With a warning to help me see myself clearer_

_ I never meant to start a fire,_

_I never meant to make you bleed_

_I'll be a better man today_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should_

_Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good_

_For all the times that I never could_

_My past has tasted bitter for years now,_

_So I wield an iron fist_

_Grace is just weakness_

_Or so I've been __told_

_ I've been cold, I've been merciless_

_But the blood on my hands scares me to death_

_Maybe I'm waking up today_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_For all of the light that I shut out_

_For all of the innocent things that I doubt_

_For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears_

_For all of the things that I've done all these years_

_Yeah, for all of the sparks that I stomped out_

_For all of the perfect things I doubt_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should_

_Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good_

_For all of the times I never could_

_For all of the times I never could."_

I'm sorry Ally.

**The End.**


End file.
